the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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