You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
