Taylor Swift is so right about you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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