two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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