what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
