I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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