but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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