whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
