what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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