He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
