I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
