ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He literally asked permission to hit on me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
