If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
