I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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