just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
