There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize