I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
