hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize