I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Can I color on your dick again?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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