Barsexuality is the new black.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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