Your mouth is God's brothel.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
