I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
