i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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