Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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