I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My vagina is officially offended.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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