I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
