Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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