i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
