i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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