you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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