i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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