is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
