is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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