***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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