I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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