my sisters under your porch take her home
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
