WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
