Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
