nut hugger
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize