I love having hate sex.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize