"it" just moved
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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