I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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