And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
