East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
