Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
