So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize