she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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