youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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