There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
