You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
