google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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