Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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