It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
