I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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