maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize