morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
