I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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