Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
