My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
