so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize