before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
