remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
