I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
She announced her abortion via fbk
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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