And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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